A Next Venture

In the beginning of my blog journal I have a quote that reminds me the I am made to be different.

"She is perfectly imperfect; fresh water in an ocean of salt. She does not fit into societies stereotypes, nor should she. There is beauty in her uniqueness. She is extra ordinary simply being herself, & this is why she should never change, one thread of her clothes, hair on her head, thought in her mind, or emotion in her heart, for she is a beautiful soul; fresh water in a sea of salt." -Ironword

A dear friend actually directed this to me saying, "this reminds me of you". My immediate thought was, "Wow no... I really wish I was that unique." But now, I believe that with the addition that our Lord made you to be like these words describe. Yes, I have SO many flaws. I do change a lot for sure, my clothes & style, my hair has been changed occasionally (& on one terrible but hilarious instance it has been magenta). My thoughts change based on with God teaches new in my mind. My emotions switch from love to bittersweet quite often lately.

Since I can remember I never really felt like someone could understand me... the weird things I do like laughing when I'm nervous or never making my bed on a Sunday or even why I'm SO close with my family. I had a few people that would let me follow them around & sit in their laps when I was just a kiddo but other than that I didn't have many friends. I got used to getting along with older people cause they thought I was cute. Meanwhile my brother was the leader of the clan. He was never without a small group of young, dirty kids trailing behind him. I never really understood this until much later when my mom got on one of her research kicks. You either love these or fear these. I loved this one. Our friend Tracey guided her on looking for our blueprint of design or spiritual I.D. The first test we took were strengths. Mine were pretty expected honestly... Positivity, Belief, Adaptability, Activator, & Individualization. Which basically means that I am a optimistic, core valued, flexible, active person (emotionally, not physically hah) who cares deeply for people & their design. Guess my brothers top one, Woo. He could woo people. Which is so cool for him & how he is designed. I finally understood. Lately though my sister got mom & I kicked off on a search about Enneagrams. Very, very cool! This just further explained me, I am a level one or two, type four. Which is a highly creative & deep feeling person. Wow.

I know, This is the point that you ask me why I am telling you all of this. Because although this is who Libby is, the Lord has given each believer spiritual gifts. These are to be focused on & prayed over to increase. Often they will be different than your personality type because they are also to develop you.

I can now see how I change with pressure & how the Lord works through me. I want to know these things not only for my life but also for my next great adventure.

Right before I published this I applied for a YWAM DTS for this summer. You, reader, have no idea how big of a step this is for me. I've spent every summer working alongside my family in ministry. I haven't spent a month away from them, but I will be spending five in a different country. How did I come upon this decision? Pretty simple actually, around August of 2016 my life was turned upside down. The Lord was my only solid foundation. He opened up my eyes to see that I had held on to the ministry as my god. It was my identity, not me serving out of the overflow of my heart. So I began seeking the Lord on what He wanted me to do. It switched a lot because my life was changing constantly & I was being shaken for about five months. By the grace of God, He did not let me fall. With this calling of a deeper knowledge of Christ, I looked into Youth With a Mission. I made my new years resolution in January that I would seek deeper & ask for conformation as what base to go to. Here I am again, sitting in my blogging spot & hitting 'submit'.

I'm gonna go ahead & say that I am so nervous. I have not been very fearful up until now & I still will not (except for alligators... pure evil right there). Excitement fills me when I talk about it but so does a deep ache when I think about not seeing my loved ones daily. I think why is because I don't want to be forgotten, not missed & abandoned. Those are ungodly thoughts & beliefs! I know I will be missed but the most important reason for this venture is simply that I will have Jesus Christ ALONE. I will be with people yes, but Jesus will be my only strong tower & solid rock.

I read a study the other morning & thought I'd share. It is titled appropriately A Living Hope. The statements that speak to me are"Christians anchor their hope in the solid rock of Jesus Christ. His words are ALWAYS true & His promises are NEVER broken." How true & encouraging is this? Not only that but also "The Lord does not disappoint those who seek His will. Do not misunderstand this. We might feel temporarily let down when something we hope for is not in God's plan. But He does not go back on the biblical promise to give His children whats best for them (Isa. 48:17, 64:4)." Don't you want what the Lord wants & nothing less? I certainly do. The Lord cannot be outdone. He is a living hope that never disappoints.

As I go on in faith, please pray for me & remind me as I remind myself of Psalm 91:2, "This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety. He IS MY GOD & I will trust Him." Wherever I am, I never have to have that feeling of loneliness again. Because "I AM with you always, even to the very end of the age." - Matthew 28:20

*Also, if you are curious about this journey of finding you blueprints of design, I'd love to share my resources! Just email me:)

like that